...

2009-08-20T06:45:00.001-07:00

The letters are fading and I can't even ask for help.

2009-07-17T04:05:00.000-07:00

hello goodbye

2009-07-17T03:33:00.000-07:00

You have to Love Them

2009-07-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

because I do! <3

TEDDY!

2009-07-13T04:19:00.000-07:00

SUPER VAGUE!

2009-06-27T05:48:00.001-07:00

She wouldn't eat any food if I wouldn't eat any vegetables.
She knew so well that I wouldn't want to kill her.
She's her own captive and what I eat is the only ransom she would take

I'm back to reading books :D

2009-06-26T05:16:00.000-07:00

Too bad it was over too soon
:( HIHI! super corny! I'll see you around
psssssh

classes are suspended

2009-06-24T20:34:00.001-07:00

You shouldn't have called me

2009-06-23T22:05:00.000-07:00

OH SHOOT

2009-04-14T08:59:00.001-07:00

Everyone is scared
I am not
HOW CAN I BE?
I'm so far away from home.
TODAY WAS (since it's like 11:30 pm) PTC DAY
..... getting of cards, I wouldn't have known if I didn't go online and see multiply.
HOLY
COW
HAHAHAHA I don't know my grades
so I'll just pretend they're good and perhaps ignore the fact that I might have summer school( Micah told me they give you letters if you'll have one but I didn't get one. Maybe that's a good sign? HAHA BUT IT'S THE FOURTH QUARTER. I'll never know. AAAAAND I didn't pass my c.l project the 100 point one since it's kinda kasjdhaskjdhk you know like whatever )
I'll figure it out in May
( I TOOK THIS PICTURE! :D)
Just don't take heaven away from me

I HATE PERIODS

2009-04-14T04:15:00.000-07:00

I hate periods not the ones used in sentences but the ones which supposedly happens to women every 28- 31 days :| GAAAAAAH!

I swear they're like curses to girls who are in the middle of a diet. I mean I'm already getting used to my crackers and hot water diet. That's when all you eat are crackers and hot water and some protein so you won't faint and I've been jogging/ walking too and stuff like that and I lost a few pounds and then suddenlt here it comes PMS!

You know how annoying that is. THE CRAVINGS YOU GET!
Hello Spaghetti
Hello Chocolate Truffle Cake
Hello Tong Ling Cha!
Hello Duck

Goodbye lost pounds
AND HELLO FAT!

SO I weighed myself again and I am utterly depressed to see that I gained weight. Why is it so hard to lose a few pounds and so easy t0 gain so much weight! GEESH

LIKE HELLO I'm not so crazy about losing weight I want to lose dress sizes if you know what I mean :)) I want to buy more clothes...... :)) HAHA I mean I have clothes and I'm not obesed or something like that I just want more clothes @_@ yes. I'm one of those unsatisfied girls :|:|:|:|:| WTF
but yea.....

STOP HAUNTING ME!

2009-04-14T01:03:00.001-07:00

Isn't it weird how you see certain things everyday and take them for granted but then when you suddenly associate them with someone they're suddenly all over the place.
EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK!
EVERYWHERE YOU GO TO!
EVERY TELEVESION SHOW YOU WATCH!
they're all there. and you're not so sure anymore whether they were originally everywhere or did they just multiply when you started to connect them with that someone.

Are you catching my drift yet? =))

GAAAAAAAH!

I'm so annoyed.

And my brother recently bought a book called "THE ANSWERS"

It works this way...

You close your eyes and then ask a really good yes or no question and then you touch the book and flip the page when you think it's the right time and then it'll open to a proverb or something which is the answer to your question.

It works when I'm serious and it doesn't when I I'm skeptical about it.
probably like God I dunno.

but haha My brother's so happy since it's the first book he owned and he's 16 and for the love of God there are 3 lines at most per page. :|
It's HARDBOUND! and thick hahaha.

SO YEAH

BOTTOMLINE

STOP HAUNTING ME.

I'm reading this book called "7 types of Ambiguity" just because I like the word Ambiguous aaaaand um up next is "Norwegian Wood" just because my favorite author is Haruki Murakami :">

YAY FOR THE SUMMER!

Oh God we're cursed

2009-04-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

Within a second we all become adults who get hurt and cry. It's so painful being with you. We both know what we feel and yet we're both afraid to go beyond that line. I guess it's our fault for drawing it anyway. You promised me something I know one day you'll break. I convince myself each and everytime I hear your words that they're nothing but lies so that it won't hurt that much anymore in the future. Is it so bad to believe that one day you'll soon fo0rget? We'll drift apart and try to forget because it's just too much pain to remember everything.

Is it so mean to break what we have so that one day I wouldn't have to face the same thing only worse? The more time we waste the more the cuts would go deeper.

Can you feel what I feel?
I think you do. That's why we're hesitating.
Let's stop right no. I think we should stop.
But we're not strong enough to let go.
Aren't we two weird people?
We seem to be satisfied with what we are but when another person comes into the picture we seem to flinch and pull each other.
Would it be better if I runaway?
I know that I don't make sense anymore, because I'm confused and annoyed.
And this I only realized when we're already far apart.
I'm sorry I think I'm starting to fall.
When I'm hiding from you, please don't try to find me.

2009-02-24T02:01:00.000-08:00

You guys are fighting again

And it's not even helping me

You will never learn

And that would make her not stop yelling at you.

I hope our house is filled with mirrors

so you could watch your every move

and realize how wrong you are

and how right she is.

YOU always complain

never realizing that you're the one to blame.

2009-02-14T21:52:00.000-08:00

I added the words in this picture :)))))

Okay so I've been trying to make a Valentine's day blog entry but every time I'm about to type something I just stop. Anyway, so today is th
e 15th of February and it's not Valentine's day anymore and the love fever has gone down I hope. :))

Haha so let's say I'm one of those people who usually don't care that there's such a thing called Valentine's Day. HAHA CRAAAAP I can't continue this blog.

I just GAAAAAH it's irritating to write something like this and David Choi is singing some song with a wonderful heartbreaking lyrics.

I still feel for you

Everything I do
Reminds me of being with you
From the simple things like taking a walk
Or finding what to wear

How you used to be there, waiting
For me downstairs
Like poetry in motion
You could feel it in the air

How you touched my soul
You made me so complete
Oh, you opened my eyes
And showed me how life should be

[Chorus:]
I still feel the same since I letted you go
It's something I can't change
And it's hard for me to know
Oh, I'm such a fool for letting you go
I still feel, for you

I remember the days when we
Stayed in bed all day
When we cuddle, and kiss
And make love,
Didn't care about the heat wave

Those days are gone
They've slipped away
But I still have the memories
I don't need nothing else cause

You gave me the love like, nobody can
How you bled your heart to me
Don't you understand

[Chorus]

I still feel you
Oh, girl you haven't left me
I still need you
Right here with me
I still feel you
I still feel you

I have a feeling this guy is a heart breaker in real life......
:|

Things I don't want to forget

2009-02-14T06:05:00.000-08:00

CHAPTER 1:

Memory is an example of an object we own but has a life of its own. It's inanimate at the same time animate. It's in us. We own it, but then sometimes it chooses to betray us, slipping away without any consent from its owner. It's unfair; how we remember things we try to forget and how we forget everything we live our lives just to remember.

I still remember that day though, well considering that it was just a week ago of course I'd still remember. My parents decided to bring to the hospital to see a doctor. I was a very forgetful kid, but I guess I've grown much more forgetful these past few years. My parents were gravely worried that they decided to bring me there. I didn't think anything was wrong with me. Everyone tends to forget things every single day. It's normal to forget things; that was why I thought they overreacted when they brought me to the hospital.

I still remember everything; the way my mom covered her face with the palms of her hands, the way my dad just looked at the doctor and was turned absolutely mute and the way I just sat there watching all of them realize that I had Alzheimer's disease.

"That's impossible!" My mom cried. "She's only eighteen. That's just impossible."

The doctor shook his head. "We've got quite a case here ma'am. It's rare but it's not impossible."

"Is there something we can do?" My dad inquired, trying his best not to cry or something like that. Well, he was playing with his car keys in his pocket and in my eighteen years of birth I've learned that my dad only did that when he tried to compose himself. I tried to imagine him during his wedding day. He was probably playing with his car keys while saying his vows to mom. My dad was a big nervous wreck and sometimes it amuses me to think that maybe he drinks too much coffee.

"There's nothing we can do, but to watch and support her along the way. It would also be good if you visit me let's say twice a month just so we can check her status. As of now, I'll prescribe you some medication it will help at this stage but it can't cure her." The doctor said as he scribbled notes on his paper. "I'm going to observe her as well."

My mom's sobs became quite louder. I found it funny how they could all talk non-stop seemingly not noticing that the topic of their conversation was just in the same room with them. I have to say it was pretty overwhelming that I didn't have time to cry. I felt so mad. I was angry because I can't find the logic of knowing that my memories are fading through someone else, a stranger even. What does he know? He knows nothing about me and there he was telling me that my memories are fading away and there's nothing I could do about it. It was unfair.

The ride home after that visit to the doctor was unbearably quite. Dad literally kept his eyes on the road. I think he actually forgot to blink a couple of times. My mom kept looking out the window and I stared outside my own window, looking at the moving road as the car speeded. Was it the cemented road moving or was it the car? Of course I knew it was the car, but I just thought I'd still think about it. What if I just didn't know that every time dad started the engine it wasn't the car moving it was the road? It always looked like it was moving backward every time we moved forward. I thought about it again. I guess I'm just like our car. Every time I would start moving forward passing through every day, my memory would run backwards at the same pace.

"Mom?" I decided I'd break the silence in the car.

"Yes sweetie?" She tried to sound okay.

"Are memories the only things I'll forget or will I forget myself as well?" I asked. I'm not stupid I'm just not aware about this illness I've got. My mom didn't speak for awhile and I remember my dad missing his turn at the curb where he was supposed to turn. I waited for an answer but I never got one. I just heard my mom sobbing again and with that I learned that this illness had no mercy, that it won't leave anything to me, that it was selfish to let me forget everything and only have it inside me.

"Mom, dad" I started. Mom didn't stop crying and dad still continued driving. "I love you both and I know one day I'll forget that and that's the reason why I'm telling this now because I'm scared that maybe tomorrow or the next day or the next I'll forget that I love you enough to say it."

Dad started crying after that. "Dad!" I said. "Don't sob and drive. It's dangerous!" I teased to lighten up the mood. My dad tried to laugh. "I love you too sweetie. We'll stay right here with you." My mom looked up at me struggling in between her sobs. "I love you Andy very much."

"I know mom." I said quietly. "I know."

Isn't it ironic that after a week that I have been told that I would slowly forget everything I still remember that moment everything in detail? I think it's funny.

"Mom I'm going out okay?" I shouted from the hallway to the main door.

My mom came rushing down to me. "Where are you going?" She asked, panting.

"To the public library" I said flatly.

"But—"She stammered and I exactly knew what she wanted to say.

"I won't get lost mom." I said. I pulled the paper I stuck in the notebook I carried. "See I've got a map and I promise I'll try not to forget my way home."

"Honey, why don't you ask Kevin to bring you there?" She suggested. I frowned. Kevin was my boyfriend until a few days back. I broke up with him. I decided that if I'm going to have this Alzheimer's whatever it would be best if I'm not involved with anyone. It would be pretty scary if I did. I'm scared I would forget his name and ask him who he was and he would just freak out on me. I felt bad breaking up with Kevin. I was with him for about two years. He's probably wondering why I broke up with him out of the blue and not telling him the reason why. He cried. I cried, but I thought that maybe it was for the best. It's going to be worse in the future anyway. I'll forget him everything about him that I won't have the chance to say sorry. I loved Kevin. No, I love Kevin. I love him too much that I had to say good bye early. See, here's the thing about breaking up. It hurts. It hurts a lot but in time you forget all about it. And I told him that.

"I can't let him bring me there mom."

"Why not?"

I sighed. "Because—I broke up with him"

She had a surprised look on her face. "Oh honey. Was it because—"

"Yes." I saved her from saying it. I knew she didn't want to say it and I didn't want to hear it as well. "It's because of that mom."

I was scared I was going to hurt him. No, maybe that was just part of it. What I was scared of was him leaving me if he realized what's happening to me and I don't know if I could handle that. I know I'm selfish that way. I know he loves me and he probably wouldn't do that, but people get tired. And I'm thinking, maybe he'll get tired of putting up with me so I cut it off.

"Can I go now mom?" I asked.

She nodded. "Just be careful."

I opened my black leather notebook. I stared at the first blank page. It was the first time I bought a notebook with blank pages. I figured I just wanted a random change. I started writing on the top part of the page with my black Pilot sign pen: Things I Don't Want to Forget. Under that, I wrote my full name, my birthday, my parents' names then I flipped it to the next page. I wrote Kevin's name and started writing things about him but then I realized that maybe if I wrote him there and remember him I'll just confuse myself so I decided to tear that page off.

When I was done writing down things I thought at that time I had to remember I stood up and as I was about to walk out of the library a stack of books fell on me. "Shoot!" The guy who was carrying all the books exclaimed. "I'm sorry." He said.

"It's okay." I rubbed my head, scared that this incident would worsen my condition. I looked at the guy and realized I knew him and he knew me too.

"Josh Richardson?" I said, testing my memory. He had dark brown eyes and light brown hair that was parted on the side. He looked kind of old-fashioned, but nonetheless he was still good looking. This guy was from my English class. He sat in the last seat in the left corner of the room. We don't talk but we're familiar with each other anyway. He made a weird look on his face. He was probably wondering why I blurted out his whole name.

"Andy Scott" He muttered, as if he was required to say my whole name too.

I laughed. "You didn't have to say my whole name." I started standing again and he helped me get up. "Well you just said mine and I thought I had too." He shrugged smiling.

"I can see you have a lot of books with you." I said, trying to start a casual conversation.

He nodded. "Mr. Mayer is killing us with this thesis paper coming up."

"Ahhh." I nodded.

"By the way." He said. "I haven't been seeing you lately in class. Something happened?"

I shook my head. "No nothing big. I just got sick."

"So… when are you coming back?" He asked, trying to be friendly. We're classmates after all.

"Actually—"I paused for a moment. "I don't think I'll be coming back." And then I had a sudden feeling of regret. I shouldn't have started a conversation with Josh, because I just realized that that conversation meant a whole new complication.

"Do you mind if I ask?" He asked.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I can't tell."

"Well that's unfortunate." He said so straightforward. I never knew he was like this outside school and it's kind of refreshing.

I smiled at him.

"Well then I guess, I'll just see you around." He said, picking up the books he dropped.

"I guess you will." I said.

I knew I shouldn't have said that because I knew that for him to see me around I should be around and I'm not so sure if that's such a good idea. And this is a fact of life, once you've bumped into a person and entertain that circumstance then there's a 99.99 % chance that you'll be bumping into them again and again. And that's exactly what I don't want to happen.

My cousin sent me this e-mail and told myself...

2009-01-14T05:32:00.000-08:00

"HEY WHY NOT?" she lives in Canada and I've only seen her and my tita and my tito and my other cousin a couple of times when we stayed there and when they stayed here and there's a huge age gap between us but I love my cousins both haha and their parents of course :))

HER E-MAIL:

Hello, everyone --

I've been asked by Kapisanan Philippine Centre for Arts and Culture to make a presentation on "the socialization of young Filipino women" this coming Saturday, January 17. This presentation is for the participants of their young women's program.

I already have information about the historical development of women's roles in Philippine society, but I'd like to incorporate the concrete experiences of young Pinays from different backgrounds, and this is where I need your help.

If you have some time, could you share with me some reflections on your own experiences growing up as a woman of Philippine descent? You can share as little or as much as you can. Some things you can think about:
- roles and expectations of you in your family, in sexual relations, in the public sphere
- how these roles and expectations fit or conflict with your own beliefs or personal inclinations
- if applicable, the impact that migration had on these roles and expectations, and the way you view yourself as a woman.

This is totally informal, so just write whatever you can think of, and don't limit yourselves to these topics I've listed.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Anything you can share will be a great help.

Mit

THIS WAS MY REPLY:
ATE MIIIIT! I MISS YOU ALL! :D
AND SORRY IF THIS IS SUPER LATE

ANYWAY... Okay I'll start haha

Feminism, I have always been hearing that especially right now since women empowerment is I think part of our curriculum in school. I know that being an empowered Filipina woman is all about speaking out, believing in what yourself and what you can do, not letting anyone crush you down and things like that. I've always thought that it's a nice movement and yet in a lot of ways I still do not get it.

I grew up in a family where being male or female was never an issue. I know that even though we're in modern times there's still this subtle application of the gender roles at home, where the women cook, clean and do all the womanly stuff while the male does the manly stuff. That's not really the case in our house. My mother made sure that all of us can cook, clean, and can hold the broom. I would have to say, that me having a very strong personality and having a very strong grip on the things I believe in is because of my mother. I look up to her and her view on the different things. I wouldn't categorize her as the conventional or the unconventional kind of mother but I think that the reason why I looked up to her was the simple fact that she did believe in the things she was doing. My mother quit her job when we were born and now she's a homemaker and I think that she's still empowered. You know why? Because that's a choice she made. The fact that she made that choice may be just a little detail in her life but that choice meant that she had the freedom to say yes or no. So now, that freedom of choice is a very important key with this topic about today's women.

But like I said earlier, I still have this vague idea of women struggling to be empowered or strong. I mean, if women are trying so hard to be strong or whatever they want to prove then why are they expecting such laws which will protect them? I don't get the reason why they want such (I don't know how to say this) "special treatment". This makes me think, do Filipino women or women in general struggle for equality or do they want to be seen higher than the male species just to prove something? ANd I'm thinking, that's actually a sad thing, for more than centuries perhaps I think that the female species have always done things just so they can prove something. It's quite tiring actually. I am not sure if this would make sense, I am not a feminist nor am I a sexist. I just have this thinking that people should get what they deserve as human beings whether they are male of female.

I'm sorry if my very very long paragraph didn't seem to answer any of your questions. I think I have this bad habit of getting carried away when answering questions like this that's why I trail off the real topic and just rant on. HAHA please do edit it. I think it needs major editing :))))) AND ALSO I just want to add how I think it's funny that my school promotes women empowerment and yet we don't study carpentry. I mean we do have cooking and sewing but I'm just thinking how come we don't have carpentry... Hmmmm is it because they expect the males to do that?

I really don't know....

HAHA ATE MIT! I'm super random. My brain is obviously messed up and yes haha I'm just ranting. Thank you for sending this e-mail to me though and if possible send your future e-mail to tehartist13@gmail.com

This Yahoo account of mine is starting to be swallowed by the large forces of Spammed messages and I'm too lazy to delete them HAHA good luck with your presentation and I hope I helped even just a teeny inswy winsy bit! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!

AND I MISS YOU

AND I'M HAPPY YOU GUYS ARE GETTI NG MARRIED! awesomeness :>

love love love love love
Nadynne :D

Let me tell you something

2009-01-02T23:33:00.000-08:00

Since everyone is talking about the New Year, hey let me talk about it too. I know New Years are all about starting over and leaving all the past behind and stuff like that, but what if you don't want to right? Of all the Holidays in the world it's probably New Year I hate the most. I remember My grandpa would always ask me every time I ride his car which plays Christmas music all year round, "Ano yung favorite mo? Christmas, Birthday, New Year or Araw ng Mga Patay?" Haha he asked me that since the moment I celebrated all of those and when I was able to talk already. While I was growing up, My answer would always vary.

I love Christmas because it's the time when I received a lot of presents. Especially when I was a kid. I got a lot of toys. Sadly, most of them were dolls but I don't mind since more dolls meant a lot of hair to cut. AHOHOHOHO don't lie to me. You cut your dolls' hair too when you were a kid.

I used to love birthday's until I was thirteen. Before I was thirteen, I looked forward to being thirteen because I thought it would be cool to go inside those R-13 films. HAHA I know I'm so weird. When I turned thirteen I cried a ton because I realized I'm not a kid anymore. What's next after thirteen? Less gifts! Taxes! Knowing how to drive and therefore your mother letting you chaffeur her. Although, I won't mind driving my mother around because that means free coffee and free other things where ever she goes. Good God! After thirteen means doom.

Anyhow, I love "Araw ng Mga Patay" which we celebrate on the November 1st rather than it's original date which is November 2nd. Everytime it's this day my whole family goes to the cemetery and on my mother's side, we're all complete. We make wax balls from melted wax from those candles. My tita brings a lot of food. I know, that the thought of eating in a cemetery is kind of gross but it's not that bad especially if the food is awesome. HAHA Ultimate November 1 food: Carbonara, Sandwiches and Moist Chocolate cake. AHOHOHOHO and besides we're in this enclosed space anyway. You know the type where only relatives are only buried there. So yeah. IT'S AWESOME!

But I never liked New Years.
Because New Years are the holidays which make people decide to have a new life and move on and grow up and forget or perhaps try to forget about the past. I realized that everytime people decide to grow up and move on the things around them completely change. For example, last year we never made wax balls in the cemetery anymore and we weren't even complete. Our Christmases were started to be celebrated separately, for some reason. I celebrated my birthday without wanting to celebrate it in the first place just because I think I don't want to grow up.

I don't want to have a new life. I don't want to make a resolution. I don't want to jump every time the clock strikes twelve. I want everything to stay the way it has always been, but it can never stay that way and everything has to change. That's why I'm completely defeated by the New Year. Because everytime I keep my feet planted on the ground refusing to move just because the world around me is moving, the force is so strong that it pulls me in the same direction with everyone where I never wanted to go in the first place. And without realizing it, I myself forget, change and grow up. I mean hello I'll be turning seventeen this year :|

WHATEVER

This is me when it's New Year: Only I'm not supposed to be smiling.

New Year feels like me being the center of the road, or the terminal, or wherever there is a lot of people. Everyone's moving and walking ahead of me and I'm only there, standing in the middle and watching everyone. I'm the only one who's watching them. I'm the only one who's standing in the middle trying not to move. And I'm the only one who's hoping that I'll stay there forever.

I just want to rant. Haha so um HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

IT'S OVER

2008-12-17T02:50:00.000-08:00

sorry I wasn't thinking of you when I wrote this.

THE EXAMS ARE OVER! AND THE CHRISTMAS BREAK WILL START THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW! :D

and yeah :|

2008-12-11T23:14:00.000-08:00

YES... I LOVE DAVID CHOI!
and my font is pink >.>

TODAY IS THE WORST DAY EVER. I think I'm going to fail Geometry and Chemistry. Good Lord! I never had a failing grade in my report card so I'm really down. Like awhile ag, my seatmates and I were thinking of ways to solve the problem. NOTHING GOOD CAME UP. :|

To hang my self (At least I'll grow an inch taller)
I'm going to take 5 expired sleeping pills and shove it down with a glass of coke
Carbon Monoxide thingy (by Krista) It's like I light a scented candle and close all the airways and so I suffocate
I'm going to slit the fattest vein I have
I'll join the war (I just thought of this)

Like I said, these are really bad ideas and I think my parents are gonna cry if I do any of these. WHATEVER :|
I'm really depressed and so I think I'm going to get a haircut

GAAAAAH
SHIT
SHIT
SHIT

TADA!

2008-12-07T03:05:00.000-08:00

It's so fun saying that TADA! TADA! TADA! okay I should stop now. Anyhow I'm so vain I took 30 pictures of myself in out bathroom. XDDDD HAR HA HAR it's not like you should know that but yeah. mmmmmwhatamI doingforthelongweekend? I'M READING SHOUJO MANGA! yay me. And my stupid I-pod just shut down. -_- I can't open it. DRATS!

GAH
GAH
GAH
GAH

Max said I should get a live journal. I have one but I'm to lazy to put stuff in there so I'm thinking I'll copy paste everything I have here, which is not the most creative thing to do. ANYWAY I'LL DEAL WITH THAT SOON :/. I'm in my lazy mood again so I dunno If I'm gonna post stuff or not.

shoot

2008-11-29T00:53:00.000-08:00

I've been saying that word lately. HAHA it's quite an improvement really, since it means I won't be saying shit, fuck and more of that anymore, well for the mean time at least or until I forget how to use those words again. I'm in a curse rehab AHOHOHOHO, there's such a thing you know.

ANYHOW.... I just can't forget yesterday's english class. I feel so bad bullying Krista, my seatmate, all the time. HAHA ILY KRISTA! She's awesome and she's cute when I annoy her :P. SO anyway, this is what happened yesterday:

We were discussing Wuthering Heights in English class and we takled about how the ghosts in the story were associated with memories. So my teacher asked the class, "How do you keep memories?" A classmate raised her hand and told us we took pictures, and then some other person said that we write in journals, blogs, or diaries and then MY SEATMATE raised her hand and told everyone "You tell stories of yourself to other people." Our teacher nodded and said "That's right you tell stories."
When she sat down I looked at her and gave her a smug, "Wow, you're so full of yourself. " And then my diagonal mate, Max, overheard our conversation and she was laughing like hell. HAHA The expression on Krista's face was priceless. It was saying, "WTF NADS I HATE YOU." XDDDDD

SORRY KRISTA ILY! :))

aaaaaand btw....

YOU'RE SO FULL OF YOURSELF.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.But I have to say, being so mean is such an entertainment.
=P

2008-11-25T06:30:00.000-08:00

OH MY!!!! It's been like the unluckiest week ever. I mean, woah It's like all the tests I took this week are extremely low. By extremely low I mean failing. -_-. It's kinda sad that I already failed 2 math quizzes D:. SHIT SHIT SHIT....
SO YEAH...

Let me lecture you on math AHOHOHOHOA SQUARE IS A SQUARE. A RECTANGLE IS A RECTANGLE. A SQUARE IS NOT A RECTANGLE AND A RECTANGLE IS NOT A SQUARE.

Honestly, I don't like math. Math is full of lies. I lie a lot but I do not lie the same way math does.It pushes to the limit and gives every extent of any detail just to prove that it is right. I'm not much that of a liar. I stop when it's obvious that I'm obvious already. A square is not a rectangle and a rectangle can never be a square. How can be a square be a rectangle when it's already a square and is a square? According to the theorem, a square can be a rectangle because it satisfies all the conditions of being a rectangle, which is having four angles which are right angles.... HUH :/ So uhm technically dogs can also be humans because they satisfy both conditions of having a pair of eyes and a pair of ears. UHHH I don't think so, but I won't push that possibility anyway. Do you get my point? I hope you do, because it's a very easy point in the first place. A square is a square and that's that. The use of this argument is non-sense because I'm so sure the math people would beat me up for raising this...... I also have no idea on why I'm not smart. -_- IT makes me sad.... HAHAHA That was random but it's sooo true! :))))

BURN BABY BURN!

2008-11-23T03:07:00.000-08:00

I FINISHED GANMO TODAY
It's so cute and ugly! I just love it. HAHA I'm thinking of making larger versions of it for my friends and maybe I'll give sewing a second chance. XD AHOHOHOHO so yes. I'm so happy. He's so cute :3

2008-11-21T22:59:00.000-08:00

I'm writing to uhhh 2 people?

2008-11-21T02:57:00.000-08:00

HE'S SOOOOO CUTE :">
It's Kenichi Matsuyama from L Change the World
:">

MUTE

2008-11-21T02:43:00.001-08:00

I screwed up! Big Time! D: So awhile ago, we had this reporting about a Marxist Theory on "The Shield of Achilles" and I screwed up. I mean, I was shaking all over the place and stuttering throughout the whole report. I was just so nervous and I have no idea at all why,since the day before, my group mates and I really thought on what we had to say.

SO yeah, the day before, which was yesterday I was cool. I mean I did alright with the interpretation and explanation of lines while we were brainstorming about the poem that I sort of felt confident about our report, but awhile ago I don't know what happened. It's just that the universe decided to flip out on me and I just made a mess in front of my classmates and teacher.

GAAAAH so we had to use the OHP for our um visual aids and I was the one manipulating the acetate and my classmates told me my hands were really shaking D: So the whole time my hands were shaking, my words stuttered and myself lost somewhere D: HUHUHU. I feel so bad for my group mates I mean I'm sure we really had it going on but I felt like I spoiled the whole report, so all our efforts were wasted. I mean I'm not so big about the "grade" part. Heck I don't care about that. Well, I care but not that much anyway. It's just that I just feel bad that my group mates really did their best in this and I did nothing but screw it all up.

I think I have speech problems. I mean PUBLIC SPEAKING PROBLEMS. When I was infront I swear I felt like someone was just going to swallow me. I mean I wasn't even scared of the teacher. She was nice while we reported it's just that I felt like there was this invisible something watching me while I talk and when I make the wrong move it's just going to swallow me alive.

I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO TALK IN FRONT OF PEOPLE....
since we have this big "DEFENSE" coming up. I mean I had to defend my paper in front of people.... Which is scary :/
wyeklwjdqwioedfq,wedhwioehrq,wejidfwoedhsnkwle8fwie3nkleqdfwie3dhniudehiSHITlkjdowehdqliujd;wo3xjcmfledkhc

CREATION OF A MIND FOR A NEED TO CLING

2008-11-20T02:40:00.001-08:00

Awhile ago our C.L teacher made people raise their hands for different categories. This is not the exact categories... I think, but it's really close to it anyway.

Agnostics
Atheists
Christians and Catholics who are unsure of why they are Christians and Catholics

I'm an illegal number 2 since the seventh grade and I never raised my hand. I wasn't interested with sharing this to my teacher anyway. -_- I know that even though he says it's okay, it's not. People lie a lot and I'm sure he was lying just to get us to raise our hands. In a Catholic school something is wrong when you don't believe in God. It's just like the olden times, you get stoned by the Jews when you are a Christian.
It's funny how they both believe in God anyway.....

Is God that important? He's not even here. In fact,I think that He was never here. And sometimes I think that God did not create man but man created God. So that man can cling onto someone, so that man can blame someone, so that man would not be scared living in such a big world with no one higher and more powerful than him.

It's such a big irony how Catholics/Christians have "freedom" when they were born as such and when they finally decide not to be one, then they have sinned. Here's a question, how can you sin against someone you don't even believe in?

Hmmmm basically I think that you can still have morals even if you don't believe in a higher being. I mean, isn't it a basic human instinct to know what is right and what is wrong?

And isn't He being too vain? Asking people to pray to Him and when they don't He tests their faith in the most unimaginable ways.... which make these people pray to Him again.....

whatever....
I dunno...
bye.
I'm gonna do something else now.

Fly Like The Elephants Who CAN'T FLY AT ALL

2008-11-20T01:55:00.000-08:00

It was the the summer of this year and I still remember exactly why I cut my hair. And thinking about it now, it was a really stupid reason. PATHETIC is the exact word to describe it actually.

But then again, it was a time when I dared myself to be something which is the total opposite of me. I had my long hair as far as I can remember and at that exact moment, when I just decided that maybe it was time to be different I went along with my brothers to the salon and let the salon cut my hair.

It was a big change.
It was a change I thought I was ready to face.
It's only now when I question why I wanted such change in the first place?

I like my short hair.
Or maybe I keep on making myself believe that I like my short hair.
Hey it can happen right?
When you lie to yourself a lot until suddenly it doesn't sound like a lie anymore.
Lies become the truth when we believe they are anyway.
I think so.....

GROW HAIR!
GROW!
I SAID....
GROW NOW!

PSSSSSH I wish it's just that easy -__-

2008-11-19T05:28:00.000-08:00

This is basically my KUKUXUMUSU NOTEBOOK..... Only, it's online and uuuuh these are the things I probably didn't write there because I'm too lazy to write every single thing down. I'm gonna fill this up with lots of things and YEAH.... OKAY.....
BYE

It's amazing

2008-11-19T02:28:00.000-08:00

How people change in such a short time.
How I can be such an angel today and be a piece of shit tomorrow from one's perspective.
YEAH. I'm like that. I'm one unstable piece of shit.
PIECE OF SHIT
PIECE OF SHIT
PIECE OF SHIT
I'M JUST THAT!

God, maybe it would've been better if mother nature didn't poop me out huh?
Like maybe it would've been better for everyone else.
DUH I WAS JUST HANGING IN THERE... THAT'S WHY SHE DECIDED TO POOP ME OUT ANYWAY.
Like I'm some kind of extra baggage.
I guess I am.
LIKE EVERYWHERE I GO.

Although I'm not that obvious.
That's a plus on being a human being.
You can hide yourself with your fake smiles
And mix with everyone with that happy disposition of yours.

AHH THE WORLD....
It never fails to disappoint me.

Humor is a way of shrinking from that wonderful and terrible world

2008-11-18T06:03:00.000-08:00

As impossible as it sounds, I think my right hand does not know how to draw anymore and it makes me really sad. I'm not quite sure on who or what I'll blame this predicament of mine.

Perhaps, it's because of school.It's been hell and I've been doing nothing but reading textbooks and using my right hand to answer worksheets and solve some damned mathematical and chemistry problems. At least, my little brother was sweet enough to buy me a new mechanical pencil.Although I think the real reason why he bought me a new one was because he was tired of me borrowing his and losing the next day.

Or maybe things happening at home. I've been feeling very tired and stressed. My mother being hospitalized and having to face surgery in two weeks time makes me think while I'm sleeping. It's not quite easy. I think it's not a secret that I love and hate my mother at equal levels since I guess that's how it goes, but when she was hospitalized and I can see her pain as if I can feel them; I was scared to death. Images were flashing in my head. Images of what we're going to be if ever she just-- she just goes....

I lost my right hand. I think I did. It can still write. It can still type, but it cannot draw anymore. I feel like crying over it but I can't. I'm trying to cry and I swear tears won't come out. Perhaps, I've ran out of them.They just disappeared along with my right hand.

2008-11-04T04:23:00.000-08:00

I've been busy lately

NAT....

JUST LAZY....

GIVE ME TIME

I'll post again someday :))

2008-10-05T07:56:00.000-07:00

It's OCTOOOOBER. And sadly I'm running out of time. I mean like 1 day for me is never enough to finish my daily schedule of activities. SIGH. HAHA Um yea. Well recently as you've noticed most of my blogs have become more and more meaningless and it makes me sad. Well, I'm wishing that I can fix it soon :D YEA SOOO STAY COOL :D

2008-09-23T04:45:00.000-07:00

YES I NEED REHAB -_-

KABOOSH! I'm failing Chemistry! I can't fail chemistry no I can't because I'm supposed to love science and Chemistry is Science and that would mean I'm failing Science and that sucks! DAMN IT!!! But it's starting to get so hard since it involves math and we all know that math doesn't love me. I tried to love math but he decided to cheat on me -_- AKAAAAAAY....

So yeah. If ever I fail chem that would mean I'm going to become a bum in the future. And I don't want that. HAHA
THE WORLD ENDS WITH YOU IS DEPRESSING ME TOO! :(( I was beating the boss and I failed and yeah I have to repeat from my last save. That sucks right. ATE LEEANN GO ONLINE! I need you. Nice said you just finished it. HAR HA. It's been a long time since I blogged. Nothing happened except I had a great BIRTHDAY BLAST! HAHA MY FRIENDS SURPRISED ME :O while my nanay GROUNDED ME and took it back 5 hours before my birthday ended! WOOHOO!
ANYHOW
I had a post birthday celebration and we ate at shakeys and played the game of life at Gam's Crab. I was God. O_o
WELL YEAH

HAHA
NOW SCHOOL'S BACK TO NORMAL
MEANING
CRAZY

1) We're gonna make a mosaic in Social with beads or sequins [SOME KIND OF BYZENTENIAN? ART]
2) A PILLOW CASE IN T.H.E { and honey we all know I'm a disgrace in womanity since I can't sew and like Kitty said the course outline is so conformist.}
3) NOLI ME TANGERE
4)THE SOCIAL ROMAN SNAKES AND LADERS which is whacked!
5) Math is always insane
6)C.L is weird it has one main lesson they try to prolong and that is : GOD LOVES US AND WE MUST LOVE HIM TOO
7) UHHH YEAH

I MISS YOU BLOGGER I HOPE YOU MISSED ME TOO :]

Guess who's back?!

2008-09-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

NYAHAHA For some reason I like Eminem. HAHA anyway I'm sick ahuhuhuhu coughing and shit like that. So lately, I had 2 weeks of no academics and I think my brain has gone all stupid now. Kawawa naman siya. Last night I was flipping through the channels and I guess TV5 wasn't satisfied with tagalog spongebob so they had Jimmy Neutron tagalog subbed also. SAD SAD.
*sniff sniff* I swear this sipon thing is the worst.
OH YEAH!
I never thought that it's actually possible for a person to forget to breathe.
IT HAPPENED TO ME A FEW DAYS AGO O_O
I was in the school bus sleeping and then suddenly I suffocated myself which led me to waking up. I forgot to breathe -_-. OH WOW.
It was weird and scary so now everytime I go to sleep I make sure I'm half awake always reminding myself to breathe.
WORD

It's almost my birthday -_- another year older and yeah I can finally get driving lessons.
>.> I drove my first ten meters months ago and I did it real fast xD that my dad started panicking. HAHAHA HOWELL.

UMMM yeah I'm going to church later and work. Some parish involvement thing. It's so sad to know how desperate catholic schools are to let their students feel the love of God by bribing them good grades just so they could spend at least 10 hours in the church.
YEAH

*cough cough.*

I’m slim shady, yes I’m the real shady
All you other slim shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real slim shady please stand up,
Please stand up, please stand up?

NAYAhAHAHA

2008-08-30T03:28:00.000-07:00

We pretend everything's okay
But honey everything I want to say
Are all pent up in my mind.
They're trying hard to stay.

I see lies in your eyes
But damn your the best actor I've ever seen
You drop your words with sincerity
I can see you've lost your integrity.

In these next four lines
I'll tell you the truth
Bid you goodbye
and let my thoughts escape my mind

ONE.stop lying I don't want you to sin.
TWO. I always knew but I can't stop loving you
THREE. this is the part where I'll say goodbye
FOUR. I'm going to stop now before I break down and start to cry.

tell me

2008-08-27T04:31:00.000-07:00

DO
I
LOOK
HAPPY ENOUGH?

I just need to know.....

SPONGHANGBOBO KUWADRADONG PANTALON!!!!

2008-08-20T02:29:00.000-07:00

PUTANG INA!!!!!
HAHA sorry I just had to say that
but P.I TALAGA!!!! There's this ground breaking news.!!!!
I watched like 5 seconds of the tagalog subbed spongebob and it was horrendously FUNNY and scary!!
IRONY EHEM IRONY!
Why the hell do they all sound nasaly!
D:
OMGEE! Sorry I can't get over the fact that someone actually tried to convert spongebob's stupidity into tagalog! Hala what would happen to the future kids of the Philippines. It was good enough that the kids out there can't understand a thing he's saying BUT OMG NOW THEY DO!!!!!
BOOHOO :((If we remain forever poor don't look at me.

BLAME TAGALOG SPONGEBOB!
NOW I'M REALLY SAD FOR THE FILIPINO KIDS :/

WHAT IF

2008-08-20T00:45:00.000-07:00

WILL YOU LOOK FOR ME?

Finally

2008-08-19T05:06:00.000-07:00

HAHA Yay! I'm finally done with "Bring me to the Salon"

I don't know why I always make a fuss on creating such art with very intricate details and making myself suffer and at the end of the day it doesn't look that hard to make? HAHA do you get what I'm trying to say.
MOVING ON.....
I also edited this picture haha the one with "ONLY SPONGEBOB CARES" HAHA
okay I have no adobe photoshop so the editing sucks but yeah I love spongebob! When he's not on t.v. >.>
That doesn't make sense but oh well.
Yeah I love spongebob.... HAHA don't mind my pose. It just goes with the pajama thingie :))) I just realized how flowery my bed is. >.> I don't like it. LALALA

Oh yeah today I went to the mall to meet up with Patchu and Suzette! My grade 3 busmates :(( *sniff sniff* I certainly miss those innocent moments. I mean back then, Patchu and I had this really big fight like it lasted a day. We argued about Zagu. She thinks it's cancerous. I think it's not. Well after a lot of years I'll admit it now. ZAGU IS CANCEROUS.

SEE THAT?!? That sucks right. additional knowledge= accepted defeat.
If until know I don't know that artificial flavoring is cancerous maybe until know I'd still believe I won that fight. YEAH OKAY I KNOW. I'm so damn competitive. :)))))
I care about petty things.
So what?
It's fun
haha
Making life complicated is so damn easy.
SEE THE IRONY?

Moving on... so we talked about stuff then I went shopping for a couple of minutes. I bought 2 new shirts in artwork then colored pens. The stabilo ones. They're ugly but they're much cheaper than Steadlers. Hey I just need the colors anyway.

....

NOW I'M AT HOME.
Staring at the whiteness of the computer sighing every five seconds denying the fact that there's school tomorrow and we have a quiz in social studies about Rome.
I think that our teachers watch too much american movies. AHIHIHIHI
Pumapop quiz na sila.
AYYYY JOKE.
but yeah :))))
I hate pre-quizzes. They're non-sense.
I mean they do have sense duh but I think they're non-sense.

Studying is for the bigheaded fools who like bragging about knowing a lot.
AYY SERREHSERREH . I have smart friends pala.
:)))))
BUT WHATEVER I'll make them an exeption for this fact of life.

I have a chocolate. I have a chocolate. I have a chocolate. I have a chocolate. I have a chocolate... OKAY WHEEEEEE not that you have to know.
I just want to tell you :> HAHA

OKAY I'm guessing I'm leading towards random ranting so I'll stop now!

OH OH OH I LOVE GREY..... wala lang

WHY?

2008-08-18T00:31:00.000-07:00

You know awhile ago I posted a blog and edited it. I added a word and when I published it a whole paragraph disappeared.

which sucks since that paragraph was about me being indecisive about what to order for dinner. Yoshinoya or Sbarro?
And our maid singing from the ground floor the same song for the past 3 days OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN with some soprano voice.

*SIGHS*

Yeah I think our house is screwed without real adults. :))))
But I won't lie
I still like it :))

Is it just me?

2008-08-18T00:04:00.000-07:00

Or are they playing too much of Rihanna, Chris Brown and Ne-Yo over the radio? :/ HMMMM I wonder. Like hello there are other artists out there. :O

ANYWAY MOVING ON......

ohgodohgodohgod! I'm running out of things to do. The long weekend is certainly long and I'm trying to sew my T.H.E project and I swear I suck at sewing BIGTIME! Thinking about it, whoever thought of making us hand sew our bag projects is a complete sadist. :<>

I LIKE.....

2008-08-17T03:54:00.000-07:00

When I close my eyes I see the light
oh the irony.....
And the emptiness
Makes me feel like someone's watching

And as my eyes greet hello
to morning's sharp kiss
Suddenly it's all dark
there's nothing to see
No one's watching me

The sun and the moon
Have sad fates intertwined
Only in a thousand years can their bodies collide
And maybe that's only possible
If they ever get lucky

I like the dark
I like the moon
Staying in a corner
I watch both dance

They Dance
In the tune of melancholic music
that only I can hear....

I like writing in verses
I like how it is limited
When something is limited
I feel like my capability is larger that it actually is

When there's an open space
And I'm in the middle
I feel lost
My capabilities swallowed by the breadth open space

And now I end
with one thing to say.
My thoughts are all clattered
And I can't seem to find them in the dark.

AHHH CONTRADICTION.....

BARNEY +KIDS= bad combination

2008-08-16T07:49:00.000-07:00

HAHA OMG FUNNY CONVERSATION WITH KITTY. Well it started serious then funny then a bit serious again :/ HAHA OH W THE BLANK SPACES ARE SMILEYS :> HAHAHAHA

Camille Rosales: ..suure.
Camille Rosales: I miss my momma.
nadynne esguerra: aww that's okay
nadynne esguerra: you'll get used to it
Camille Rosales: When'll your dad return?
nadynne esguerra: like just sleep at night thinking na the next day would bring you closer
Camille Rosales: Wow.
Camille Rosales: That made me tingly inside.
nadynne esguerra: uhhh this thursday?
Camille Rosales: I love it.
nadynne esguerra:
Camille Rosales: Cool.
nadynne esguerra: and he'll be leaving again
Camille Rosales: When.
nadynne esguerra: and coming back again I dunno when
nadynne esguerra: uhh
nadynne esguerra: sunday?
nadynne esguerra:
Camille Rosales: Mom Rosales: am having fun chatting with you. hahaha lol. now i know how you feel.
Camille Rosales: )))))))))))
nadynne esguerra:
nadynne esguerra: that's so cute
nadynne esguerra: she uses lol
Camille Rosales: Lumo-lol na si mommy.
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra:
nadynne esguerra: I was like lol to my dad
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra: and he's "WHY ARE YOU CURSING ME"
nadynne esguerra:
Camille Rosales: ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Camille Rosales: I SERIOUSLY LOL-ED AT THAT>
Camille Rosales: ))))))
nadynne esguerra: shit I didn't know how to explain kaya
nadynne esguerra: kasi baka iniisip niya nagpapalusot ako
nadynne esguerra: pero ayun
nadynne esguerra: he eventually got it
nadynne esguerra: but I never use lol anymore
nadynne esguerra: trauma
nadynne esguerra:
Camille Rosales: ))))))))))))))))))))))
Camille Rosales: sfhpsdf
Camille Rosales: I love it.
Camille Rosales:
Camille Rosales: SERYOSO.
nadynne esguerra: HAHA OKAY
Camille Rosales: I have a shirt..which I wore kanina..which said, "I am effin awesome."
Camille Rosales: Then I wore it in front of my parent, aunt and uncle.
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra:
nadynne esguerra: OHHH YESSS
nadynne esguerra: and?
Camille Rosales: Then my mom asked my cousin what effin was.
nadynne esguerra: hala
Camille Rosales: And my cousin who's a year younger than me and also curses said, "Uhhh..I don't know."
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra: ahhh shit
nadynne esguerra:
nadynne esguerra: I can imagine her face
nadynne esguerra: and her eyeballs rolling
nadynne esguerra: >.>
nadynne esguerra: <,<
Camille Rosales: Then my aunt was reading it and said,
Camille Rosales: "I am..ano yan..efficacy?"
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra:
nadynne esguerra: OH MY
Camille Rosales: Or something like that.
nadynne esguerra: what if we become like that one day?
Camille Rosales: Sheep.
nadynne esguerra: HAHAHA SHIT RIGHT?
Camille Rosales: Sana naman hindi.
Camille Rosales: Srsly.
nadynne esguerra: haha
Camille Rosales: I just randomly think about that too.
nadynne esguerra: I'll never get pregnant and have younger kids na lang
Camille Rosales: How I am with my mom..
nadynne esguerra: so I'll be like super cool forever
Camille Rosales: How different our teenage years were.
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra: yeah...
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra:
Camille Rosales: And how I might be like that with my children.
nadynne esguerra: haha scary
Camille Rosales: WHAT IF ROCK ISN'T COOL IN THE FUTURE ANYMORE. O:
nadynne esguerra: :/
Camille Rosales: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.O
nadynne esguerra: AYYYY
nadynne esguerra: I'll secretly listen to it?
Camille Rosales:
Camille Rosales: Apir!
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra:
nadynne esguerra: If i had a child
nadynne esguerra: I wonder what kind of punishment I'd give her
nadynne esguerra: NOT SPANKING :/
nadynne esguerra: ummmm
nadynne esguerra: more like siguro
Camille Rosales: Yeah.
Camille Rosales: I'd be strict with her but not spanking..but not super loose rin.
Camille Rosales: Ano kaya.
Camille Rosales: Siguro yung "Face the Wall" shizz.
Camille Rosales:
Camille Rosales: *him or her
nadynne esguerra: "do whatever you want I don't care as long as anak remember when you get old and you do that hala you'll go to jail. You know who's in jail? BARNEY. NOW.... will you do that again anak?"
nadynne esguerra:
Camille Rosales:
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra: mwahahaha and she'll be nice forever
Camille Rosales: YEAAH.
Camille Rosales: And I'd take away her Barney video chips.
Camille Rosales:
Camille Rosales: And say that. Ayan tuloy. Barney's in jail na talagaaa.
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra: and this will scare her pa. You know barney's big bag with lot's of stuff? He has kids in them too. And he turns them into BARNEY SLAVES Watch barney anak and you'll see the kids."
nadynne esguerra:
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra: HAHA WHY DO WE LOVE BARNEY SO MUCH?
Camille Rosales: And you know that tree house Barney has? You know, the one with many things inside. THAT's where the bad children go, especially those who *insert bad thing that anak did* and they're the ones who hand to Barney that things that he gets from inside it.
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra: AYYYY
nadynne esguerra:
nadynne esguerra: my gad
nadynne esguerra: what would our children turn out
Camille Rosales: Angels.
Camille Rosales: In plain words.
Camille Rosales: Angels.
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra: psycopaths
nadynne esguerra: ata yung akin eh
nadynne esguerra: hope not
Camille Rosales: Who turn out to be murderous cannibals when they grow up.
Camille Rosales:
nadynne esguerra: I have decided on one thing though
nadynne esguerra: I won't let them watch t.v
Camille Rosales: zsdl;ifgl/sdfnpsodhfpsdnfspdfndf
Camille Rosales: sdflsidnpfosje9prhfsdfh;sldfnp[sohdpfsdf
Camille Rosales: sdl;vhspdv msp[dohfpsdhfposndf;shodfopsf
Camille Rosales: MEANMEANMEAAAAN MOTHER.
nadynne esguerra: no
nadynne esguerra: but you know
nadynne esguerra: like right now
nadynne esguerra: I'sm wishing that my mom never let me watch t.v
Camille Rosales: I'd filter the things that they watch but like..not totally deprive them of the joy that television brings.
nadynne esguerra: *I'm
Camille Rosales: Hayy.
nadynne esguerra: haha
nadynne esguerra: bahala na
nadynne esguerra: basta ayoko
nadynne esguerra: they'll be so imaginative and creative
nadynne esguerra: they'll make me happy
nadynne esguerra: but then again
nadynne esguerra: would that mean I'm forcing my children to pursue the things I wanted for myself?
nadynne esguerra:
nadynne esguerra: HAHA SHIT
nadynne esguerra: we're serious ba?
nadynne esguerra:
Camille Rosales:
Camille Rosales: I told Ellie you're lol thing.
nadynne esguerra: I know
nadynne esguerra:

INTENSEEEEEE

2008-08-16T02:26:00.001-07:00

OKAY THIS IS INTENSEEEE
MORE INTENSEEEE
SAY WHUUUUUT?!?!
AND AT THE END OF THE DAY EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW IT. YOU PUSH HER AWAY :((

IT's a sad fact that all the beautiful things in the world may not be real or if real, very very rare.
In a flip of a page
In every word that was said
even though it was not meant for you
You know deep inside, you felt it.

You shake your head
and close your eyes
telling yourself that you don't give a damn
When deep inside you're hurting

You're asking why
of all people
Why are you alone.
You live your life through fiction
setting aside the real sense of reality.

Finding it hard
to draw the line between the two
Wishing you were born on the other side
Yes I agree.

In that side
You are not happy
but when you flip through the last page
You finally get what you want.

In this side.
All you can do
Is peer
into the other side.

OH MY GAD!

2008-08-14T02:03:00.000-07:00

I'm crying well sort of crying in front of the computer because of VAMPIRE KNIGHT!!!!! GAAAAH The exams are over and I'm back to my otaku self again after months of deprivation!!!! *sniff sniff* IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED VAMPIRE KNIGHT YET YOU SHOULD WATCH IT!!!!! D:

I'm in love with Zero okay. After just 4 episodes I'm in love with him!

I think KANAME should die! edwekjdwiydeqwkjedqwiopedpq MAJOR DIE!

NYAAAAA! I'm waiting for that stupid video I accidentally removed to buffer all over again! NYAAAAA!!!! Okay so I'm uhhh gonna watch now.
MARRY ME OKAY?!?! =))))) WAKEKEKEKEKEKE (haha I swear wakekekeke makes the oddest sound ever!)

AND YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT xD haha yeah I know you're hot too but he's hotter and I hate you XP DIE

To Study or NOT TO STUDY

2008-08-13T03:10:00.000-07:00

THAT IS THE QUESTION....

HAHAHAPPY TIMES HAHAHAPPY TIMES....

What is the most important thing I learned in Social Studies?
The Greeks were the main root of Faggotry. So Psychological scientists people who go crazy finding the roots of gayness in one's genogram start from their greek ancestors. AHOHOHOHO.
BETCHA MY GALLY WOW Tomorrow is the last day of exams! Chem and FIL AHHHH FACT SHEEEET.

Anyhow. Awhile ago I was sleeping right? Like I always do and then I had this cool dream. I was wearing a kimono and a samurai ready to kill a China Man O_O WHY A CHINA MAN? XD BUT anyhow when I was to poke his belly hard with my very sharp samurai my brother woke me up for dinner:/ at 5:50 p.m. Blinking, I woke up BTW. I think that the english exam was so damn weird! O-o like WTF kind of weird. I mean it wasn't hard it wasn't easy and it was the type of test where you'll surely guess at some numbers.

HAAAAAY

AND THE SOCIAL LONG TEST WAS OKAAAAAAY. I dunno
:))
But then again who typed that freaking test?!? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO COUNT?!?
I mean it's okay if the numbers were like

1.
2.
3.
5.

SO she skipped a number no big deal.
BUT THE TEST WAS LIKE

21.
24.
22.
25.
27.

GO BACK TO THE FIRST GRADE!

Tssss. I was just pissed because I'm this kind of person who relies a lot on the numbers for shading or else I'll get lost so I was like O_O DAYUUUUUUM. Being so vexed I decided to rewrite the whole thing for my own sake. *sighs*

I don't feel like studying in Chem anymore. -_- I want to dream and yeah :)) SLEEEEEP

KBYE

YOU KNOW AWHILE AGO I WAS LIKE DOING A FUNNY ENGLISH ACCENT IN THE BATHROOM WHILE YEA...... :))

OH DOOODS
I MADE THE SCANTRON SONG :)))

I'm Gonna go with the flow (with the flow)
Gonna shade my letters row by row(BY ROOOOW)

HAHAHAHA K

PISSED OFF

2008-08-09T23:46:00.000-07:00

nadynne esguerra: SHIT YOU KNOW WHAT I GIVE UP!
nadynne esguerra: I after I'm finally done with my C.L project
nadynne esguerra: ABI WORD HANGS!
nadynne esguerra: NOT RESPONDING
nadynne esguerra: OKAY THANKS ALOT NAMAN :/
nadynne esguerra: saving and printing stage na nga eh
nadynne esguerra: UGGGGH!

OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT! I'M NEVER GONNA FINISH THIS STUPID C.L BROCHURE AND WRITTEN REPORT AFTER HOURS OF STRUGGLING IT ENDS UP TO NOTHING! I STILL HAVE CHEM LONG TEST TOMORROW AND THE T.H.E BAG WHICH LOOKS NOTHING LIKE A BAG! I'M FRUSTRATED NOW!

SIGH

2008-08-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

SHUT UP CHRISTIAN! MAHATMA GHANDI WAS AN OPTIMIST AND HE GOT SHOT BY SOME GUY!
Moving on.....OMG! WHATTA WEEKEND.
Okay so yesterday I went to Joyce's house so we could do our English project but before that we ate at jollibee haha "MERIENDA TIME" yiiiii! anyway so We were eating right? And I suddenly had this loss of appetite so I was like playing with my fries and then I offered them to Ariana.
"Ariana you want fries?"
Ariana was eating her ice cream, "No thanks."
I shrugged then a couple of seconds later I forgot I just asked her if she wanted fries so I extended my hand full of JOLLIBEE FRIES "Ariana you want fries?"
She's like "No thanks."
And then we started talking about random stuff and then I forgot I just asked her that same question.
ARIANA:blablablablabla
me:*cuts her off* WAIT! Ariana you want fries?

Haha and she stares at me and I swear I think I saw the WTF expression in her eyes and then we both laughed like really hard I felt like the jollibee was looking at us. Kulit ko kasi eh and then yeah I ended up giving my fries to Joyce, Alghie and Marj.

HAHA here's another stupid highlight of the day.
While we were doing the english project we were talking about random stories about relatives and then Marj suddenly remembered something and she asked, "Naalala niyo ba yung namatay sa Star City? Yung nahulog sa parang LOG JUMP!"
ANd I couldn't stop mysekf from commenting so I interrupted her story with a "OO NAALALA AKO! ANG TANGA TANGA NUNG BABAENG YUN!"
And Marj sort of like waved her arms around. "Wait wait."
SILENCE......
"Pinsan ko yun eh." She continued. And my eyes widened and all of my groupmates were like staring at me as I mouthed the word *shit*
and then SILENCE.....
ANd they all burst out laughing
Joyce was like "Benta mukha ni Nads eh. Sabay bawi dun sa 'ang tanga tanga nun'" :))
SERREH SERREH

And then Joyce was driving her car and it was awesome I walked from petron to mc do! When I saw the McDonalds sign from the gas station I was like "MALAPIT LANG PALA EH!" but when I started walking I though, "Shit What have I done?" and that was like 9:30 ish na ng gabi.

And then I was sitting alone in mcdo when there was this group of college guys near my table and there's thing guy who leaned-ish on my table and accidentally I glared at him. It happens. You know the unitentional death stare. And he backed away quickly and he was like "sorry sorry"
IT WAS FUNNY! HIS FACE was a classic XD

ANY HOW
YEAH

I LIKE TODAY'S YM TALKS :)) haha okay wala lang

NUMBER 1)

nadynne esguerra: haha speaking of religion my mom was like "tell me the truth may ibang relihiyon ka na ba?"
nadynne esguerra: I was like shit!
karen ybAnez: o_O
karen ybAnez: wtf.
karen ybAnez:
karen ybAnez: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
nadynne esguerra: I DUNNO
nadynne esguerra: ayun
nadynne esguerra: kasi dude I didn't want to go to church
nadynne esguerra: it's like it's okay naman kasi if you miss a day at a mass eh you'll hear the same thing the same day only next year
nadynne esguerra: :/
karen ybAnez:
karen ybAnez: i like your reasons.
karen ybAnez: anyway, o tapos, your mom asked that?
nadynne esguerra:
nadynne esguerra: no but she was serious
nadynne esguerra: like even after the mass
nadynne esguerra: she's scared daw for my sake kasi unti-unti na daw akong nagshoshow ng signs that I have a nother religion
nadynne esguerra: THAT'S WHAT I ACTUALLY LIKE TO HAPPEN
nadynne esguerra: inuunti unti ko siya
nadynne esguerra: but I just said like I don't know >.>
karen ybAnez: you want your own religion or you're atheist? if it's the first, what is it? xD
nadynne esguerra: not the first
nadynne esguerra: dude it's like
nadynne esguerra: what the hell
nadynne esguerra: muslims kill
nadynne esguerra: buddhists kill
nadynne esguerra: christians kill
nadynne esguerra: catholics kill
nadynne esguerra: you religion does not tell what kind of person you are
nadynne esguerra: I mean it's hard to explain
karen ybAnez: yeah
nadynne esguerra: but you know
nadynne esguerra: I want to tell my mom that even if I don't believe in god I don't kill
nadynne esguerra: and
nadynne esguerra: well I'll only kill mosquitos
nadynne esguerra: gets?
nadynne esguerra: I mean she does too!
nadynne esguerra: she'll understand
nadynne esguerra:
karen ybAnez: yeah i get it
nadynne esguerra:
karen ybAnez: i just thought of a random question even though you don't believe in God let's say one day he decides to come here for no reason at all and you can talk to him. what'll you say/ask/whatever? )))
nadynne esguerra: why'd you createJesus Christ to save mankind even though you know he'll die and why can't u save mankind yourself and why can't you let the world be I mean if there is no evil then there's no good it's just called balance
karen ybAnez: hurray for punctuation marks! haha sorry.
karen ybAnez: anyway.
karen ybAnez: awesome
INDEED I'M NOT FOND OF PUNCTUATION MARKS IN YM

number 2: ADIK AT SAWI
nadynne esguerra (8/9/2008 10:55:17 PM): SAWING SAWI KA DIN BA?
nadynne esguerra (8/9/2008 10:55:19 PM): :))
Harold ng (8/9/2008 10:55:27 PM): oo naman...
Harold ng (8/9/2008 10:55:35 PM): in all ways...
nadynne esguerra (8/9/2008 10:56:00 PM): I feel you!
nadynne esguerra (8/9/2008 10:56:03 PM): :))
Harold ng (8/9/2008 10:56:14 PM): pero parang wala naman sakin un eh
Harold ng (8/9/2008 10:56:20 PM): WALA UN...
nadynne esguerra (8/9/2008 10:57:36 PM): haha sabi mo eh
Harold ng (8/9/2008 10:57:46 PM): totoo naman eh...
Kawawang bata. Ilang ulit niyang ipinilit na hindi siya sawi XD HAHA masakit pa daw ang lalamunan niya dahit 3 tao daw siya sa radio play nila.
HAY BUHAY NG SAWI....

Ito naman adik sa pagka sawi!
volleymichie Barcelon (8/9/2008 10:32:45 PM): ang puso ko,parang rubik's cube. may susubok buoin pero susuko. may pipilit bumuo pero iiwan din. pero may taong dadaan at aayusin, at pag nabuo na,bigla ulit sisirain.

kawawang Rubik's cube dinamay pa! HAHAHA HI MICHIE :))))

OKAY GUYS IT'S 12:10! and I'm signing off. night night!

2008-08-05T02:44:00.000-07:00

This picture is niiiice :> HAHA I found it in DA ahohohoho. I like the concept and yea the color is awesome and the paper hearts are just plain wow! HAHA OKAAAAAY

We don't have homework for today so I'll sleep for a long long long time yay me!

*SIGHS* exams next week and I think I'm failing Filipino. OMG WHUUUUT?!? Crisostomo Ibarra some help please??!?

Random thought, but I'm scared. I don't know where I'm going in college. I need a good school. Actually, I want somewhere not around here. But whatever that's basically impossible so yea! SCHOOL SCHOOL SCHOOL

K YAKULT MADNESS IS UP AGAIN! HAHA SO ADDICTING I'M LOVING IT!
kbye :))

2008-08-04T05:26:00.000-07:00

Midori put a Marlboro between her lips and lit it.
“That’s the kind of death that frightens me. The shadow of death slowly eats away at the region of life and before you know it, everything's dark and you can’t see and the people around you think of you as more dead than alive. I hate that.”

IT makes sense

2008-08-04T03:06:00.001-07:00

In a way, I can only convey meaningful statements in vague compositions.
I do not do it purposely.
It just happens.
In a way I know.
That every time you read it.
You have this sense of feeling.
That we are having the same emotion.
You may be far away from me.
You may not know who I am.
but when you read.
In a way, it makes sense.
The feelings we both have
which are tangled within these words
are surprisingly similar.

Tell me what you feel....
I feel incomplete

The raindrops pierce the cemented ground like falling shears from the tormented sky

2008-08-04T01:42:00.000-07:00

Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures

I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye

I want you to know one thing.
You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me. Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little. If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land. But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated, in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine. -Pablo Neruda

And in a way it has to end. I didn't know how. I didn't know when and then suddenly it just happened. Yesterday it was over. A bucket of cold water was splashed over my head, a distant voice screaming at me. Telling me "You've got to stop now. Waiting will get you nowhere." Reality is far from fantasy, but living in reality would keep me alive than keeping faith that someday you'll turn around and look at me.

RAIN RAIN DON'T GO AWAY BIG CHILDREN WOULD LIKE TO PLAY

2008-08-03T04:22:00.000-07:00

HAHA WOHOW ALL CAPS

Moving on....

It' August 3, 7:23 p.m and it's raining really really hard. AND AND I hope there would be no classes tomorrow! If you know what I mean haha there's this joke Michie sent me. It was soooo gay :))
It was something like.

Guy: What makes Piolo Happy?
Piolo: Some vitamins
Some money
Some Projects
and of course
Some MILBY

Nyahahahaha serreh serreh it made me laugh even just a tinsy winsy tiny bit! :))))

I like small fonts

I think they're cute

haha okay random

LOOK

I'M

SLOWLY

DISAPPEARING

into
nothingness(<<<

I'm here >.>

2008-08-03T01:45:00.000-07:00

YAY SURVEY :>

+ Known as: nads
+ Born: september 14, 1992
+ Haircolor: black
+ Eyecolor:brown

SECTION 2 - HAVE YOU EVER...

+ Fallen off the bed?yea
+ Broken someone else's heart?guess not :> I'm nice :D
+ Had your heart broken? no
+ Had a dream come true? in a way yea?

SECTION 3 - CURRENTLY...

+ Wearing:shorts and a blue shirt
+ Listening to: the rain
+ Located:the third floor?
+ Chatting with: michie
+ Watching: nothing
+ Should REALLY be:studying :))

SECTION 4 - DO YOU...

+ Do you brush your teeth?of course :D NO CAVITIES AND PROUD
+ Have any piercings? yeah. I have sa ears, like all the other girls :))
+ Drive? no
+ Drink? special events
+ Have a cell phone? mhm

SECTION 5 - THE LAST PERSON YOU...

+ Hugged: i dunno :O oh wow!
+ IMed:jamjam xD
+ Talked with on the phone:karen

SECTION 7 - PERSONAL...

+ What do you want to be when you grow up?psychiatrist
+ What comes first in your life? me
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? CRUSH CRUSH CRUSH :))
+ What are you most scared of? being scared
+ Did you lose someone you really loved? like a dead grandparent? yeah
+ How many times have you FALLEN in love: i never did :> not yet :)) AYIIII sincere XD

SECTION 8 - FAVORITE...

+ Movie: uhhhh let me see the SAW SERIES :> love love
+ Band: Death Cab For Cutie oh kammon Benjamin Gibbard is love :D
+ Store: giordano :> and baleno and bossini :))
+ Cousin: this is a hard one :))
+ Sport: swimming haha
+ Food: roasted duck with yang chow rice :))
+ Candy: kisses. normal kisses. cookies and cream kisses.caramel kisses and candy coated kisses :>
+ Day of the week: friday
+ color:grey

SECTION 9 - DO YOU...

+ Like to give hugs? yeah when I like the people
+ Like to walk in the rain?yep yep
+ Prefer black or blue?black
+ Sleep on your side, stomach or back? stomach
+ Have a goldfish?fighting fish...it's waaaay cooler than a goldfish because it fights! :> :))
+ Ever have the falling dream? no
+ Have stuffed animals? yeah

SECTION 11 - THIS OR THAT...

+ Pierced nose or tongue?nose
+ MTV or BET?MTV
+ 7th heaven or dawsons creek? CHUCK
+ Chocolate or flowers? chocolate
+ Color or Black-and-white photos? colored
+ Stay up late or sleep in? stay up late
+ Hot or cold? cold
+ Sun or moon? moon
+ Left or Right?right
+ 10 Acquaintances or one best friend? 10 acquaintances
+ Mustard or ketchup?ketchup
+ Spring or Fall? fall
+ Happy or sad: sad
+ McDonald's or Burger King? Burger King
+ Mexican or Italian food?Italian

FIRSTS

First best friend:miles nursery xD
First screen name:natsumethatsme
First self purchased CD:hahaha DCFC
First pets: the dead rabbit
First piercing/tattoo:ears

LASTS

Last good cry:dunno
Last crush: CRY CRY haha jk xD
Last phone call:for me? Karen
Last time showered: last night xD
Last shoes worn:crocs haha school shoes pa ehxD
Last Song played: When Spring Break Broke
Last item bought: iced latte
Last annoyance:the sewing project
Last website visited:myspace
Last song you sang: errr some made up lyrics xD hahaha I do that all the time

EMOTION TEST :))

2008-08-03T01:33:00.000-07:00

COPY,PASTE, Don't look at the bottom before you do the thing or it won't work!
This is scary but pretty accurate

1 Which color is better red, black, green, blue, or yellow?
red

2 What's your first initial?
N

3 What month is your birthday?
september

4 Which color do you like more, black or white?
black

5 Name one of your friends?
KAREN ELLIE:)) HAHA 2 nalang :> can't just pick 1 ya know

6 name a number 1-100?
13

7 Do you like flying or driving more?
flying

8 Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
ocean

9 Think of a wish, but don't write it
I NEED THIS WISH TO COME TRUE!

--Answers--

1 If you chose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love (REALLY NOW? :/)
Black : You are conservative and aggressive
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones
you love and give good advice to those who are down
Yellow - You are a very happy person with alot to give

2 If you're initial is:
A-L: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life

M-R: You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom (HAHAHA AND YOU KEEP ON MAKING ME HOPE FOR IT)

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good

3 If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected

April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good

Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great, and eventually you will find your soul mate

4 if you chose:
Black: Your life will take you on a different direction, it will seem hard at times but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it

5 This person is your best friend
(YIIII HI GUYS :)))

6 If it is 1-50 you are a very lovable person and you have a great life

More than 50, screw the world

7 If you chose: Flying - You like adventure
Driving - You are a laid back person

8. If you chose: Lake - You are loyal to your friends, your lover, and yourself.

Ocean - You are spontaneous and like to please people

9 This wish will come true only if you repost this with the title:

Emotion test

WHAAAAA

2008-08-03T01:26:00.000-07:00

I NEED A PROMDATE KTHNXBYE
:))
IT MIGHT BE TD >:O
whaaaa freakyfreaky

HMPF

2008-08-02T03:59:00.000-07:00

I LOST KAFKA ON THE SHORE :/
I need to find it soon >.> or else i won't fall asleep

Why So Serious?

2008-07-28T02:03:00.000-07:00

I finally watched Batman:The Dark Knight! It was really awesome! Haha the whole time it reminded me of Lord of the Flies :> Haha if you read the book there are a lot of similarities in both stories. You know, the whole time I was gripping the handles of my chair having this urge to find out what's going to happen next. It's like the genius vs. the genius. LIKE WOW. Joker is just smart. I mean sometimes it makes me think what if the crazy people are the normal ones and we are the crazy ones the only thing is we are much more than them which makes them seem so abnormal. The way they think are beyond me. I mean, even that homeless guy on the street who blurts out random stuff which sounds so senless but the only reason why it's senless is because we don't listen. Do you get what I'm saying? HAHA YEAAAAAA. The sensible vs. the nonsensible.

I mean think about this. The only reason why we think the nonsense has no sense at all because we understand tht it does not mean anything and if we understand it's meaning therefore there must be some sense into it? HAHA do you get what I'm saying? How many times have I asked that?
ANYWHOOOOOOOO
If you haven't watched batman yet then watch it now. I think I'm gonna watch Don't Mess with the Zohan and Dave next XD WHEEEEE

AND OH MY GOD I was sighing the whole time the movie was playing thinking, "WHY DID HEATH LEDGER DIE?!?"
ANd And I have to say Batman was awesome too and two-face and yeah you know I thought that the whole film would only focus on Joker but it turned out that the movie revolved around the three haha I love Batman! AND AND I like that police guy with the wife and the kid I thought he was cool and of course Morgan Freeman and the English guy! They're as awesome :D

My voice is an echo.Myexistence is a shadow

2008-07-27T03:10:00.000-07:00

Hey babes it's the last day of weekend so let's get drunk with Yakult, the live lactobasillus drink with shirota strengh whatever whatever hih :D and get busy with pizza!
harhar whoever said it's not the best combination?!? I THINK IT IS! MUWAHAHAHA 3 bottles for breakfast and I lost count for the rest of the day and now my tummy is saying yes to the question "Okay ka ba tiyan?" :> Let's be happy shall we? Paint our faces with picture perfect smiles and pretend we don't hear bittersweet lies. :/

What day is it? .... A SUNDAY and I haven't watched the darknight yet! boohoo! And like all the other losers in the world I might watch it on the internet as my last resort. PRETTY PATHETIC O_O I want my blog to be famous did you know that? but but but I don't want to be famous :))))
Irony Irony. it's a beautiful scene don't you agree with me? Oh yay I have no classes tomorrow. It's not much of a yehey but then again I love it you know the way teacher's frown when kids start to scream and shout "NO CLASSES TOMORROW" It's like the only way how to feel powerful from within. Yeah... I'm dark like that. haha I'm going to show you stuff today!

haha so yeah I'm not really your perfect role model for kids since I'm that apathetic student. HAHA I DON'T FAIL THOUGH :>

anywhoooooo this is um My lecture notebook. And I did these doodles during C.L class >.> Haha Yeaaaaah it was um not a very interesting class...

. Haha and this is a drawing I did during Chemistry. I attempted to copy my techer's face >.> GAWD! He can't even pronounce my name right :)) Instead of pronouncing it as NADINE he pronounces it as NADEN german style but I have a feeling he's really bisaya. It's okay I guess I mean it does add humor during the double period of chem class. But it's kinda sad coz I sit in front and when he says NADEN NADEN NADEN NADEN NADEN NADEN all the time it's starts to make me deaf that when he class my name I forget that he's actually calling me already. SHIT! It's stuck in my head :))
Whatever. haha

MARK

MY

WORDS

I'M GONNA BE FAMOUS XD

DAMN IT!

2008-07-25T03:29:00.000-07:00

Counter STRIKE's NOT EVEN WORKING!
ahsdwegfdwetfhdcwetfmncuiewdutfmdcbkdsyfiwehfwledjsdgwdhuew
Why do I have to type stuff in separate blog entries?

It's just a feeling

2008-07-25T03:19:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling I'm coming back to my OLD SELF and I'm not particularly happy about it. :/

DID YOU KNOW?

2008-07-25T02:59:00.000-07:00

THAT EVERY TIME YOU LET ME SHOVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT INTO MY MOUTH IT FEELS LIKE I'M EATING SHIT?
I can't find another picture, but just so you know I'm not the pig XDD :/ well I don't want to be the pig. WHATEVER

By not Crying, I'm Killing Myself Slowly

2008-07-24T05:14:00.000-07:00

And it's not even suicide....
I think.

Well whatever. This would probably be a long post since I'm going to be typing a chapter from this book I am currently reading. *ehemTHEELEPHANTVANISHESehem" Haha anyhow let me rant about what happened lately in my life -_-

Okay, there would come a time when you are forced to choose between someone you love and something you love. Okay, guys this is not even the romantic type of love so save that intrigued look of yours. Well, I've been swimming right? The sport I love the most. The thing is, my mom and I have also been fighting over it. "If this goes on you have to quit. It's not like you need it anyway." I said nothing. I did nothing. Like a living dummy, I just stood there. Look, I was tired and I found it meaningless if I had to answer back....

1) It is a taboo in a FILIPINO FAMILY. If you answer back, you are forever a black sheep...or something like that.
2) I'm not really into arguing with my parents. I want to live a peaceful life so if they wish to shout at me I give them the frredom to. There's always the shower and sleep for me to express what I feel.

I actually wanted to say something but I didn't. What I wanted to say was.

1) Yes, I am well aware that I do not need it but I DESPERATELY WANT IT. I mean, in this stage where I'm really having a hard time swimming laps and drowning myself to death I should be quitting. But I won't because I want it. Do you get it? Unlike the other sports I tried, karate and taekwondo which I never liked from the beginning here's something I'm actually willing to sweat blood just so I can do it.
2) She's always complaining that I also start something but never finish it. I like to tell her that this time I want to finish what I've started and it just pains me that in her mind there's an option THAT I CAN ALWAYS QUIT. The way she talks, it sounds like it's that easy. It's not.
3) I'm sloow okay, I actually think that I'm the slowest but whatever. I have this thing that I'm still going to swim as hard as I can until I become fast. There's this obsession inside me that is not very evident which urges me to be faster. I WANT TO BE FASTER.
4) It's the only thing I really made importance. I don't even have to add a number 5 after this statement.
SO YEAH

Whatever. I'm tired. LIke not just physically tired but everything tired.

HAHA SO... HERE'S THAT CHAPTER I'M TALKING ABOUT.

One beautiful April morning, in search for a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from east to west, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, both along the same narrow street in Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other at the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in the chest. And they knew:

She's the 100% perfect girl for me
He's the 100% perfect boy for me.

But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fourteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other and dissappearing into the crowd. Forever.
A sad story, don't you think?

Okay, so I't not the whole chapter because I realized the whole chapter was too long but yeah this is the most AWWWW moment. Anyway the story goes like this. Once upon a time they meet and they both realized they were perfect for one another. Knowing this, they decided to play with fate so the boy said,

""Let's test ourselves- just once. If we really are each other's 100% perfect lovers then sometime , somewhere we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know we are the 100% perfect ones, we'll marry then and there. What do you think?"

And they did it. THEY DID MEET after 14 years BUT THEY NEVER REMEMBERED because both of them had influenza and so they forgot..... I guess they were not so perfect after all. And... I guess we should never be too confident to play with fate. http://eyesofunknow.deviantart.com/art/Boy-Meets-Girl-55762410

TODAY

2008-07-21T04:41:00.000-07:00

SORRY, I'M KINDA OFF LATELY
*SIGHS*

I'm losing it

2008-07-21T04:09:00.000-07:00

I'm always looking for something but I do not know what exactly I am looking for.
I know there's something wrong but I can't seem to dissect the whole problem and find it because I don't even know where to begin. Can you actually feel the wind of change dancing around now? It's frightening that I can notice the smallest of details and yet I cannot speak about it. It was like I was born to feel but never to speak out. I am forever mute without even wanting it. CAN YOU FEEL IT? CAN YOU SEE IT?!?! I can and it's frustrating that I can't talk about it. I don't know how to.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think I'm flunking English and that is sooooooo weird! Of all the freaking subjects English pa! LIke why?!? Lord of the Flies (I flunked all the quizzes f.y.i) MY Literary Analysis papers bot scored 15/20 WOW! SOOOO LOW. I'd very much like to believe that there's still hope but gradually I'm already feeling down about it.-_- CRAAAAP and here I am working extra hard unlike before and then this happens. woah thanks a lot. Yeah so I remember what the book said now. I mean the book I was reading. GROTESQUE so yeah
wait um here it is. HAHA this is not direct translation since I forgot what page it came from. It sounds something like this.

"I think it's funny how she thinks trying so hard can bring her somewhere.
Hah it's tiring. What's the point of even trying so hard when you don't have the brains.
Even if you try so hard, if you don't have the talent or the brain.
You end up nowhere.
It's reality. " 

Something like that. DOn't worry when I find the page I'll quote it. :))

Gulp it down babe

2008-07-20T01:28:00.000-07:00

AND SUDDENLY YOU ALL MAKE ME SICK

2008-07-18T09:30:00.001-07:00

GRR ANGrY STAr by ~jnsun on deviant ARTI FEEL LIKE A HYPOCRITE AND IT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD

why?

it's real
it's normal
it's everywhere
it's just how it is

I'm bad
who cares
no one knows me anyway

yeah kiss my ___
I don't give a ----
and you shouldn't give a---- either
'cause you're just like me

YEAH I'M BITTER OKAY? WHATEVER YOU SAY. BITTER BITTER BITTER! HAPPY NOW? ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

i need a nice doze of something happy :/

GRRRRRRRR!
I'm so like
I can't even explain

It's just that-
I mean-
You know?-

Yeah, I can't finish things I want to say BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY SO DON'T FORCE ME TO SAY IT!

Sigh

2008-07-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

*Sighs* I need space. A lot.
I mean I'm having fun with people around me
but I think that
I need to be alone for awhile.

I do not understand.
You know, I'm feeling kind of sick lately
like BLEH *ehempretendtosayblehalotandyou'llknowwhatkindofsickimeanehem*
Maybe everything is starting to suffocate me.

I eat
I BLEH
I don't eat
I still BLEH
STRESSSTRESSSTRESS Perhaps?

People
Stuff to do
Places
I just one to runaway without anyone knowing and
bathe under the rain like it's the normal thing to do.

This week has been the longest week for me.
Probably, because I was soooo looking forward to having
NO CLASSES AT ALL.

No luck at that though....

Yeah, so some alone time would be nice.

HAHAHA

2008-07-16T03:01:00.000-07:00

THIS MUST BE THE LAMEST YOUTUBE VIDEO I SAW AND YET IT MADE ME CRACK....

Um yeah awhile ago, we had swimming and then they were picking the varsity members. I saw my coach tick the names of the ones included and I felt sad when I didn't see a mark beside my name. I thought I was going to cry. It's just that I felt like I had to be there but I wasn't

...

But before I went home. I looked at the paper again. Yeah, I like getting hurt. I'm a real masochist. I wanted to feel the same feeling I felt earlier on where there was this imaginary voice telling me, "HAHA! You suck. You're not fast enough to be part of the varsity." When I peered at the paper again, I saw an A beside my name. WHEEEE. You know what an A means?
It meant that I'm part of CLASS A! A VARSITY! woot woot. NO more P.E. It's not that I'm bragging it's just that I'm really really overjoyed at the same time scared because me, not being fast enough is a sure fact! SOOOO YEAH.

<<<<<<< HAHA Michie was doing this during health class yesterday! I'm well aware that you know what's under the second black mark but the first you have to guess :> HAHAHA But I'm sure you know. BOO HOO :/ I don't like health. It's full of hypocracy and impracticality. I'm sorry.
I'm learning to keep my cool, because that is what you have to do if you want to survive in this kind of world. I've heard it's worse outside school. XD

Moving on..... 73% How I wish that was true but NOOOOO
It's as opposite as black and white. Kind of depressing but as we all know depression is part of reality. As a kid, I've learned to live in reality and accept the harsh consequences of it before I grow up and let myself adjust with such atmosphere. It's better when you're used to it. It's better when you're eyes are already open to dirt, lies, filth and sinister smiles.

It may sound harsh but let me tell you this.....

Being a Pessimist simply means that
You are a realist.
And when you're a realist
It might mean You're also a fatalist

I'm not saying this is true, but personally Optimists freak me out. It just doesn't seem real. Happiness, it's not real. I mean this world is full of people trying to search for happiness and when they get tired of searching they claim they are contented therefore they're happy but the truth is they're not. They've just given up their search. I'll say this again, This is only based from my persnal opinion.

REALISTS are happy people. -_- THis statement is a paradox of the statement I just dropped awhile ago but whatever happiness means I still think that realists are happy people. Why you ask? I think it's because that realists have already accepted the ugliness of the world there for they're not wasting so much time in searching what is never there.

I'm contradicting myself again. It's kid of annoying but hey it's a given fact that the heart is always not in sync with the brain and yet they belong to one person. Do you get what I mean?
*SIGHS* This is starting to become hopeless. I'm still wishing there would be no classes tomorrow.

There's this tiny tinge of hope peeking in my heart really wishing I could sleep for a long time.

I'll end now :)) NYAHAHAHA SEE YA!

Apocalypse WOW!

2008-07-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

OKAAAAY
YEAH SHE'S SCARED
BUT I KNOW I'M NOT

I can't say that I believe in that July 18, 2008 earthquake. But then again, there is a fifty percent chance that it can happen and a fifty percent chance that it won't. I mean there are ONLY TWO options in this world anyway. GO FIGURE.

So I was thinking, awhile ago in class that if it happens and I die I think I'm ready. The thing is it'll happen in every one of us someday and it's just that it happened to me first. I mean in one way or another there has got to be an end. It doesn't matter how it happens it's just that there is an end. Do you get what I'm saying? Well yeah END OF THE WORLD. END OF THE MOVIE. END OF THE ROAD. END OF THE DAY. END OF THE LIFE. And other sorts of ends.

I'm vexed though, with the thought that I only have Wednesday, Thursday and the Half of Friday to live. I mean, I am ready but there are still things left unsaid. Unfortunately, there is not much time for me to left a memoir and hide it under my bed so when my house collapses and a few years later they'll recover and publish it. WOW
It's kinda sad that if that ever happens I only got famous when I'm already six feet under the ground.

KESERA SERA whatever will be will be.
If Friday is the end Let it be.
If I only have two days left then thank you.
If it doesn't happen then thank you.
If it does happen ......

I still think classes should be suspended though xD I mean you'll never know right?

o_o

2008-07-14T03:32:00.001-07:00

I CAN'T SEE MY CBOX :O

HUWHYYYYYY!

Oh come on! It's cool :D

2008-07-14T02:48:00.001-07:00

Find the 3 and u will get a kiss tommorow
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSS3SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

find the B! DON'T skip or ur wish wont come true...

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once youve found the b

Find The Mistake

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYNZ

Once Youve Found The Mistake

Find the 1

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Once you found the 1..............

Find the 6

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

once youve found the 6...

Find the N

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

once you've found the N...

Find the Q...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Find the i
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
lllll
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllilllllllllllllllllllll
lllll
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
lllll
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
lllll

make 2 wishes!

>
>>
>>>
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as soon as u made ur two wishes repost this as "test ur EYES" if u dont ur wishes wont come true!!!U got twenty min

YEHEY

2008-07-14T02:31:00.000-07:00

Yay I've got a new background! :))))
Um it's raining and I am really hoping there would be no classes tomorrow!
Hey is the thing about the earthquake true?!?
JULY 18, 2008!!!!
Are you ready to feel the earth shake?

I'm not! Pssssh too bad our school is at the fault line so no matter how fast I run. I'll surely die right away. Or maybe not. Since I'm a bad weed xD Kidding kidding Hahaha
Anyhow yeah I just wanted to brag my new background :> It's so hot. The glasses change colors. Cool cool hahaha YAY!

K BYE

NO SUNLIGHT ANYMORE :((

2008-07-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

Yay so I'm done with the Social Studies project but then again there's still a long list waiting for me. :/ I still have a math long test, An english critique paper to write. NOLI ME TANGERE! Um Chapters 13-14? or was it 14-15 for Social studies and many more. As much as I would like to complain I can't since complaining brings me nowhere. -__- Well, I know I can complain forever but after that I'm still OBLIGED to do the job anyway or else I'll fail highschool. BLAME THE NAZIS FOR HOMEWORK! I actually thought Hitler was cool for being Hitler but after I learned that they created homework to make children suffer I started to abhor them! Like BIG TIME! Anyway, It's 10:19 p.m and I'm done with math, social and english and being the diligent student I always am I shall cram the others tomorrow morning. AHIHIHI XD

I can't wait for next weekend. Hopefully I can sleep the whole day and hibernate. >.>
I swear After college I'm going to get really really rich and slack around.
dot
dot
dot
It doesn't sound like a good plan >.>

MAYBE MAYBE
I'll catch aliens and sell them so I could make money :D
Bleh whatever right?

HAHA
SO YEAH
I'll be reading Lord of The Flies for our book report >.>
I swear PIGGY is such a loser.

It's not that he's fat. I mean I'm fat but then he's soooo well he's acting soooo annoying it makes me hate him. But then again, I feel sad for him since they threw a large boulder at him towards the end. I think they got sick of his ranting. I'm mean. I think I laughed at that part. SORRY PIGGY .

Yes. I'm not yet done with the book but I know the ending XD
I watched the movie okay!
Thanks MGM

hahaha OKAY

*sings*
He's a FAT BOY but he's moving like Beyonce!!!! Oh god I love that song :))))))

IT'S TRUE

2008-07-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

I can PRETEND but I can NEVER LIE.....

And I thought I can escape even for just one night

2008-07-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

WHOO! What a long title. Anyhow....
I have not been blogging since MAY 31 O_O since my computer crashed. HUWAW
Anyway, I'm back ahihihi from the retreat and you know retreats are for reflecting but I haven't really done any of that.

I'm back home. I'm back to reality and reality is nasty.
There's something wrong with a lot of things.
I hate everything.
Like shit

The banging of the doors.
The unnecessary bickering.
SHOUTING
SHOUTING
It's all inside me
I'm getting tired of it.
I may not be part of it.
It seems like I'm not there.
My presence seems to be not very significant.
It's painful.....

I WANT TO SHOUT!
I WANT TO CURSE!

I thought I can escape for just one night.
I thought I can hide.
I thought that when I close my eyes
There's another world waiting for me.

I like writing in verses.
It's short and easy.
The simplicity of it's look
And the complexity of it's meaning.
A beautiful paradox.
Created by lies
in which a truth is told.

PLEASE SEE ME> PLEASE HEAR ME> PLEASE TALK TO ME>I'M HERE

MAY 31, 2005

2008-05-31T04:40:00.000-07:00

Yay the personal computer is alive. Pero it's so sad kasi the memory is corrupted or something like that. Basta, I can't use YM, IE, and I can't go to blogger for some odd reason. :/ Haha oh well. Haha Nothing's really happening. Well, actually a lot of things happened but I have no plans whatsoever on exposing them online. I'll talk about it though haha just a bit lang.

1) Some people went to our house. My nanay and them got into this shouting party. It wasn't really like a party since it wasn't fun. I was in my room the whole time doing emo stuff. xD WTF I meant drawing and poetry. I don't really get it. How can people forget about "what they've been through" just because of money? Whatever. It's kind of disappointing but that's just how human beings are too. GREED and SELFISHNESS two characteristics we all have.

2) My friends and I went to eastwood. It was a breath of fresh air. It pulled me out of craziness for a day. I don't know if they noticed. I think they didn't really, but I was really happy. It was just the escape I needed. You know, my head is already filled with stuff I don't really want to think about. STRESS during the summer is really stressful. It's like being not able to talk even if you can for the whole year because you can't and suddenly you escape and shout FUCK THE WORLD!!!!! in a big open space. It's amazing I'm telling you.

3) My tito brought us to places. Bar Hopping. I like Alchemy, but I don't like the taste of margarita. Alchohol is just not made for me. So yeah....

Too bad I have to go home now. I'm in San Juan eh, my lolo's place.

So yeah, bye ! :D

bleh whatever

2008-05-14T01:40:00.000-07:00

Yeah I'm turning crazy. FORTUNATELY.

I don't get it. I mean there are two sides of a story. Maybe in one side they're the protagonist and the other side is the antagonist but from the other side's point of view it's vice versa.
You know the feeling that you're not supposed to be part of it but you are dragged into it because the people who are part of it is your family. O_O shit run on sentences sorry. Anyway, I'm the type of person who doesn't really give a shit about things but is being constantly dragged into the issue. FUCK RIGHT?

Honestly I want to get this over it. I mean just kiss and make up, but even if that happens "that certain incident" will never be forgotten. It's inevitable because it's so big. I mean a lot of people who aren't even supposed to be a part of it became a part of it.

This life of mine is pathetic. That all I can do is sit and watch. I can't tell who's right or wrong even if I know who because I AM JUST A KID. I will always be just a kid in older people's eyes maybe the only time that I'm smart enough to talk is when I'm about to die and tell people that "BEEN THERE DONE THAT." psssh

I'm sorry maybe you'll just realize the original content of this post if you know what I'm talking about, but if you don't then live with it. I have realized something that is very essential. Living a life knowing nothing and being called stupid is much better than living a life knowing a lot of things and becoming paranoid because you can't talk about it so you have to pretend you don't know a damn thing. SEE? it's complex.

VAGUE

VAGUE

VAGUE

VAGUE

VAGUE

read it a hundred times maybe it'll be

CLEAR

O_o

labo

And all I can do is shut up!

2008-05-07T00:24:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things which happen that I don't want.

There are a lot of words which are said to me that I despise.

There are a lot of actions done which I disagree of.

I've turned deaf.

I've turned blind.

I've turned mute.

All I can do is sigh and shut up.

What's the use of talking when you'll end up wrong?

What's the use of doing something when it'll be thought of as "rebelling"?

What's the use of caring when at the end of the day, you're not supposed to anyway?

It's tiring to be a kid.

It sickening to be a stupid child.

ESPECIALLY WHEN AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT....

I thank God for my own room!

Even thought I don't believe in him I'll thank him for the cold shower too.

FUCK it's tiring to be living in a house with people you're not sure you want to be with.

A RAT KINGDOM!

2008-05-03T03:29:00.000-07:00

Okay so I've finally decided to take a break from writing Contradiction after like um 9 chapters? So yeah I was looking around fictionpress and clicking random stories and I found the Rat Kingdom whatever the title is. So here's what happened.

I clicked *click click*

And then I read the story. And then after the first half my face was like O: because the king has and 18 year old child. A fifteen yr old child and a 5 yr. old child. AND WAS LIKE *gulp* Can rats reach that age? Okay and then I tried to shrug that thought off so I read again and then I realize that "OH MY GOD I'M READING A ATORY ABOUT A RAT KINGDOM! A RAT KINGDOM FOR CHRIST'S SAKE WITH 18, 15 and 5 YEAR OLD RATS O_O" what if they visit me at home? what the hell will I do?!?

SO I decided at that moment to look for another story okay good day and good bye :D

OH MY GOD!

2008-04-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA YAY!!!!!! I lost inches :)) I thought I grew fatter but NOOOOO! I lost yay! from 34 to 32 O_O It's still big but I don't care :)) I'm happy about it weeeeee. hahaha Coz yesterday we went to Giordano to buy some pants an then I'm like I'm a 34 so they gave me a 34 buuuut it was so big so I tried on a 32 and yay it fits!!!! HAHAHHAHA so now I'm going back there to buy shorts! Ya know the knee length ones. I have fettish for those eh. SO yeah! YAAAAAY! =))

There is finally a title!

2008-04-19T04:32:00.000-07:00

*drum roll please* dun dun dun dun!

And the title is

"CONTRADICTION"
something something something

I haven't decided on something yet :/ XD My friend is helping me though.... THANKS FRIEND!

remember: all things in this blog is CODED xD no names, no places ANONYMOUS woohoo

A CONFESSION :D

2008-04-17T06:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, maybe he's the one I'll ask for the prom :/

I've always watched him from afar.
(Not like the stalker kind of way though)

I've always thought that it's okay it's not my hand he's holding now.
(and yes it's okay as I see him make her smile I die inside)

I've always gazed at his light brown eyes
(as we have those silly little talks)

I've always wished he's face would go away everytime I dream at night.

but damn after all these years he's still the reason why I sleep at 4 .am!

2008-04-15T00:05:00.000-07:00

THINK

WRITE

LIVE

I can't seem to make my brain work today :/

UNTITLED (yet)VII

2008-04-14T00:40:00.001-07:00

Trick:

Time is distorted
Life is complicated
Contradiction is reality
Love is a Contradiction to the Mind
The Mind is superior to the Heart
The Heart is inferior to the Mind
But the Heart is the one who rules
It Contradicts for the Mind Gives the orders
THAT IS REALITY

-Trick

Are we given choices on how to live or is everything there waiting for us to live? I do not understand a lot of thing. Suddenly, what was non-sense actually makes a lot of sense. I cannot comprehend. I wish to manipulate my thoughts, my words, my actions and yet at the end of the day I question myself. Did I really make myself do that?

As I put my hand in my pocket to grab the tissue paper with my writings on. I felt nothing. It was gone. Maybe it fell on the sandbox where the swing was at the park when I crumpled it. I don't know. Maybe the wind blew it away. I don't know. Is it in the garbage can now? I don't know. Maybe someone else picked it up. I don't know.

It's funny. I feel like I'm drifting along with everybody else. Running, walking, jogging somewhere, someplace I do not know. The wind is blowing me like how it blew away my tissue. I do not know where I am headed to....

LET THE RANTER TALK!

2008-04-09T03:55:00.000-07:00

Hello! It's me haha tehartist13. So yeah. I like writing. It's fun. I can manipulate every move of the character. While manipulating, I can be the character itself. I love the idea of being someone I am not. Sometimes in fun. You know, being out of your real character and getting inside someone else. I am Stitches at the same time I am Trick.

Although, this might not be connected to my topic haha I think that "NOT CARING" is just an excuse for our short comings. I mean if I don't really care about spelling or such maybe it's just because I have no idea how to spell that word correctly. Do you get it? Well, Whatever. Haha I just wanted to make YOU FEEL that yes tehartist13 is alive and I would be posting other entries rather than the UNTITLED ones :D

thanks for reading

Yay first post

2008-04-01T23:31:00.000-07:00

Yup this is my first post. YAY ME -_- haha anyway I decided to create this account since I'm super bored. It's summer and I have nothing to do but slack and help around the house so umm yep. I'm sleepy and it's 3 p.m aaaaand I WANT TO GO HOME! :(( and see everybody yay us :X I got nothing to do :/

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